MB-Eish: Post 24: 0

**"Eish" is a South African slang term expressing surprise, dismay, anger or frustration.** 

As I mentioned two years ago, I have joined the droves of engineers who have sold out to the dark side: Banking (and more recently, the elite league of the dark side: Asset Management). To make myself more comfortable in my new, murky surrounds I have decided to do an MBA part-time. This is the twenty-fourth in a series of posts about my MBA experience.

Zero days!

The business school is located in an old prison building, and the tradition is that when you hand in your thesis you ring the prison bell. This morning I rang the bell! I am free! I handed in my research thesis just before noon today! I got through most of what I wanted to include in the end and it is too late to stress now about what didn't make it to the report. 

I cannot believe this is  finally over.

The acknowledgements in my thesis read as follows before I trimmed it down and made it more serious (edited for anonymity): 

To my fiancé, it’s hard to put into words what you have meant to me over the last two years. You have supported me in ways I didn’t even realise I needed. It has been a more turbulent journey than I could ever anticipate but you have been my oxygen mask time and time again! Thank you for being a sounding board, for supporting my new friendships, for even staying up with me on many of my late MBA nights. I started out on this program wishing to make our lives better in the long run and at the same time hoping the process itself would not pull us apart. Well, it did not; quite the contrary: I began this journey as your girlfriend and I end it as your fiancé. Someone once said “Life is like a Rubik’s cube. At times you have to make things worse before they get better.” Well, we have just swiveled the last blocks into place, love. It just gets better from here!

To Mom and Dad, thank you for being so understanding when I could not be around as much as I used to be. Thank you for the little things: offering to help with laundry, encouraging me when I felt like I was running out of steam; and for all the early morning wake-up calls before work after the late MBA nights! I look forward to spending more time with you now that this has been conquered.

To my bestie, you have your friend back! Thank you for being my unrelenting cheerleader; even though much of it had to be digital. I look forward to many lunches, many afternoons playing with Little Miss F and most of all, to resuming our place as 30 seconds champions.

To my class mates, my syndicate group, my new friends, and in particular to Mrs D, your camaraderie and friendship have made this process such a beautiful journey when it could have been a traumatic ordeal. I would never have imagined that I would feel like I am in a syndicate room full of friends working together on an assignment at 2am, when in fact I am just on our Facebook page at my desk, but with you all that has been the case. Above all, thank you for being so open with your experiences and insights. I have learned so much and hold you all in high esteem!

Lastly, to EU, my lecturer and supervisor, thank you for your patience and for being an invaluable sounding board through this project. From the outset, your approach has set me at ease and given me the confidence to tackle the task.

MB-Eish: Part 23: 2

**"Eish" is a South African slang term expressing surprise, dismay, anger or frustration.** 

As I mentioned two years ago, I have joined the droves of engineers who have sold out to the dark side: Banking (and more recently, the elite league of the dark side: Asset Management). To make myself more comfortable in my new, murky surrounds I have decided to do an MBA part-time. This is the twenty-third in a series of posts about my MBA experience.

Two sleeps left. 

I can't even say two days because it's already 7am. I've been up all night cramming to get some more analysis done. In about 24 hours I will be going back to work armed with a soft copy of my thesis, ready for printing. Nearly time to give my 2c worth to the research community. I hope they don't spend it all at once. 

Gosh! I am exhausted, excited, sad... all at the same time. On the one hand I've been working on this so much that I'm sick of it. On the other hand I keep thinking of more things I could add to make it better. I can't believe after wishing it to be over, I am here on the threshold of this experience being complete; the MBA, not the thesis, that is. I almost don't want it to end. Almost. 

Well, there's a long day ahead before I can wrestle with all of that. 

Time for a nap on the couch and then for the final sprint to the finish line.  

ZZZzzzzzzz......

MB-Eish: Post 22: 3

**"Eish" is a South African slang term expressing surprise, dismay, anger or frustration.** 

As I mentioned two years ago, I have joined the droves of engineers who have sold out to the dark side: Banking (and more recently, the elite league of the dark side: Asset Management). To make myself more comfortable in my new, murky surrounds I have decided to do an MBA part-time. This is the twenty-second in a series of posts about my MBA experience.

Three days left. 

And I am trying to exercise  the utmost discipline and exert the craziest amount of effort to finish this paper in style. 

I am restricting myself to three hours of sleep a day. I am working in three hour shifts with ten minute comfort breaks in between. 

I see nothing but my laptops and my many to-do lists. These last few days my eyes will see no television, no novels, no movies. 

I hear nothing but the music streaming out of my head-phones spurring me on. Kanye West telling me now that, that, that, that don't kill me will only make me stronger. Nina Simone empathizing that I been a workin' and a slavin' and I still got so terribly far to go. And Bono, sweet Bono, reminding me that it's a beautiful day, as I search for more literature references, more data... lamenting the fact that I still haven't found what I'm looking for. When my computer crashes, Chris Martin understands that tears stream down my face because I've lost something I can't replace.

And I say nothing, except for talking to myself about how to phrase an argument or how to present a graph. I've probably said ten words to my fiancé today. And I think those words were "Can you go and buy some more Red Bull please?". I haven't called my mother in days. The only calls I take are from other MBAs who need my help or who are calling to cheer me up. 

Three days left. I can do this.

MB-Eish: Part 21: 4

**"Eish" is a South African slang term expressing surprise, dismay, anger or frustration.** 

As I mentioned two years ago, I have joined the droves of engineers who have sold out to the dark side: Banking (and more recently, the elite league of the dark side: Asset Management). To make myself more comfortable in my new, murky surrounds I have decided to do an MBA part-time. This is the twenty-first in a series of posts about my MBA experience.

Four days (well, nights) left. 

Not that I can tell the difference anymore between night and day. Just less noise from traffic outside at night; my scenery is the same: the fluorescent light shining on my desk, the luminous screens of my laptops, spreadsheets, sustainability reports, and occasionally my cats playing at the top of the stairs near my desk. I have even started sleeping at my desk. I'm too afraid to lie down at this point as it is getting damn near impossible to rise after just an hour-long nap and at this point every hour is crucial. I probably don't even have time to be typing this post.

I am days behind where I thought I would be. And the work I was considering axing has been recommended for inclusion by my research supervisor. And the problem (and motivation) is that I still care about the mark. One more course mark was released today, and it was really good! I do not want to stuff up my GPA in the last 4 bloody days of this degree.

Four more nights, three more days. Just over 72 hours. I need at least 40 hours to go back and get data for the new work. At least 20 hours to analyse and write up. That leaves 4 hours a day to sleep, eat, break... The math is not on my side! 

But I will not give up until I have absolutely run out of time. Back to work!

MB-Eish: Part 20: 5

**"Eish" is a South African slang term expressing surprise, dismay, anger or frustration.** 

As I mentioned two years ago, I have joined the droves of engineers who have sold out to the dark side: Banking (and more recently, the elite league of the dark side: Asset Management). To make myself more comfortable in my new, murky surrounds I have decided to do an MBA part-time. This is the twentieth in a series of posts about my MBA experience.

Five days left.

No, that is not a typo. No, it is not déjà vu. No, you are not Bill Murray in a cheesy movie about a rodent. But as there were yesterday, there are five days left today. (Well it's almost midnight now, but you know what I mean.)

Yesterday's post was a mini freak-out. I am behind where I need to be to deliver the awesomest thesis that I can. No doubt, I am on track to hand in a good paper but I was starting to question whether I should cut some things out to finish on time. Yes, yesterday I was wishing my hand could "reach out and grab more time". 

Cut to today and as if my Gandalf-esque magic, our whole class has been granted a one day extension! Some or other mix up with the school administration and just like that I have 24 more hours at my disposal than I did yesterday. This is unbelievable, especially since yesterday I lost 5 hours of my time in an unfortunate disagreement with my laptop and Excel. 

A whole extra day!! And it's come at the end when I'm all fired up and inspired to do this right so I won't waste it in front of the telly! I am not especially religious, in fact I am happily agnostic, but on days like this it does feel a lot like the universe is on my side.

Well, I've just handed in a draft of two chapters. There is still PLENTY to do but I will certainly sleep easier (well I may actually get time to sleep) tonight. I'm not saying I was drowning but it feels like someone just threw a lifesaver my way and I can finish this report the way I'd planned to. 

Awesome!

MB-Eish: Part 19: 5

**"Eish" is a South African slang term expressing surprise, dismay, anger or frustration.** 

As I mentioned two years ago, I have joined the droves of engineers who have sold out to the dark side: Banking (and more recently, the elite league of the dark side: Asset Management). To make myself more comfortable in my new, murky surrounds I have decided to do an MBA part-time. This is the nineteenth in a series of posts about my MBA experience.

Five days left.

I can count the days left on one hand. 

A hand that I wish could reach out and grab some more time; but all it can do it type, grip my can of Red Bull and hold my head while I stare at my spreadsheet and wonder why I'm not further along.  Oh, and apparently it hits the "snooze" button on my blackberry quite effectively. I was planning an all-nighter. I made it to 6am and tried to have a "nap". Yes, a one hour nap... and yet here I am three hours later. 

Five days left and I am still analyzing my data. Five days left and I have not written a word to turn my proposal into an actual report. Five days left and I am still changing my mind about my method of analysis. I thought I would have sent a draft of my findings to my supervisor two days ago. At one point things were going so well I was wondering why I took two weeks off from work. I guess there was some denial at play.

Can you tell that I haven't had my morning caffeine yet?



Well, the finish line is in sight whether I like it or not. Quite a few people have crossed it. 

They are doing victory laps. 
Waving at the crowd. 


It is time to start sprinting... until my fucking legs give out. 

MB-Eish: Part 18: 7

**"Eish" is a South African slang term expressing surprise, dismay, anger or frustration.** 

As I mentioned two years ago, I have joined the droves of engineers who have sold out to the dark side: Banking (and more recently, the elite league of the dark side: Asset Management). To make myself more comfortable in my new, murky surrounds I have decided to do an MBA part-time. This is the eighteenth in a series of posts about my MBA experience.

Geez. 7 days. I can barely believe it.

Firstly, I apologize for not blogging for 5 days. I said every day, and this is not exactly every day. May I lay the blame ceremoniously at Inspiration's feet.

About three days ago, like an other-worldly spirit, she possessed me and stirred me first to restlessness and then into a feverish frenzy. I could not break for more than 20 minutes without thinking of being back at my desk. I lost all sense of time. I struggled to keep track of when last I'd eaten, showered, slept. At some point I was up for more than 24 hours without even realizing it, working like an unstoppable beast. Only when I'd look into a mirror long enough would there be some clues of self-neglect: deep bluish-brown circles under my eyes, disheveled hair, ashen skin. But in my near out-of-body state I accomplished in three days what may otherwise have taken weeks. I have now been through all my sustainability reports and I have a data set! I look at some of the cells in my spreadsheets and I don't remember how they got populated but when I check the data, it is correct. Ah Inspiration, I bow before you! I surrender to you for the next seven days! Clearly I am in good hands!

Of course like ancient tribes who consumed hallucinogenic plants as part of their religious rituals, and the Christians who gather at the altar with hands outstretched for a chalice of wine, this spiritual experience is being facilitated by the steady trickle of Red Bull down by throat. 

Back to work!