MB-Eish Part 7: 27

**"Eish" is a South African slang term expressing surprise, dismay, anger or frustration.** 

As I mentioned two years ago, I have joined the droves of engineers who have sold out to the dark side: Banking (and more recently, the elite league of the dark side: Asset Management). To make myself more comfortable in my new, murky surrounds I have decided to do an MBA part-time. This is the seventh in a series of posts about my MBA experience.

This is a the loneliest I've felt throughout this MBA. Just me, a stack of company reports and a fridge full of Red Bull. 

Last year I couldn't wait to get to this point. I am no longer accountable to anyone else and I can work (or not work) whenever I want. With group work, everyone had an opinion that they wanted voiced which slowed stuff down so much. But as much as syndicate group work was a pain in the rear from a scheduling and efficiency point of view, I didn't feel like I was in it alone. At this point I feel like talking in circles would beat having debates with myself! At least a group meeting or a Skype call comes to an end. In my head the debate can go on in a loop forever. 

Yeah, it's lonely. No-one else is doing exactly the same research so there's no point bitching to anyone, 'cause they just won't get it. No-one else, including my supervisor, has read exactly what I've read about this so anyone else's opinion is a bit iffy. The ideas, the motivation and the objective critique have got to come from within. If this were a fairy tale, I'd be slaying the dragon, the giant, the wicked witch and the wolf myself. 

Coupled with that is the realization that I'll never see some folks from my class again. While in a few cases this is hardly a pity, there are many more that I'm going to miss. We've had this long distance relationship going for two years! Seeing everyone every few months for classes has become an anticipated routine; two weeks of  intellectual ping-pong, constant challenge, shared ideas, discussions that most people would rather avoid.  And a surprising amount of sharing of personal journeys. I'm going to miss it! I've felt like my brain has come alive!

So what now? Yeah, we say we'll stay in touch. We'll see each other around. We'll be active alumni. But give it a year and half of us will be pruning our Facebook accounts, picking off people we haven't spoken to since graduation (but not our LinkedIn accounts, 'cause that's just bad business). Five years, and I'll need the captions on the class photo to remember some people's names. 

Sad, but probably true. 27 days to go.